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Sunday, 21 July 2013

Lessons Learned, Song-Sheets Burned

I'll open this blog with a quote from Stephen Colbert:

“So, Disney, I demand that you drop this two mommies plot & go back to delivering wholesome messages. Like teaching our children that they can be a princess if they let a man make out with them while drugged, or that there's nothing wrong with bestiality if a candle says it’s OK.”

Thus, I have compiled a list of things that have taught me lessons, and the lessons those things taught me. In no particular order.

Pirates of the Carribean taught me that as bad a reputation as piracy may have, it is superior to its alternatives - old white money (the most dangerous gang, as SAMCRO taught me) and the dark powers of elder gods (not that different from old white money).

Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me that the popular chicks may save the world, but not without the help of geeks, nerds, misfits and the kind of guy that remembers what THAC0 means.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann taught me that belief in one's self - not cockiness, not blind ego, not arrogance but simple self-belief - can propel someone from mediocrity to total greatness, and that some people burn brighter than reality can deal with - clear through the heavens, and into our hearts.

Skyrim taught me that doing something often is the best way to become better at it, most problems can be solved by shouting at them loudly enough that they simply go away, and if the choice is between racists and imperialists - you don't have to choose either side.

Aliens taught me that corporations are the most lethal predator of all, even if they don't literally explode out of your chest, and that any woman gutsy enough to duct-tape a flamethrower to a carbine isn't someone to trifle with.

The Goonies taught me that a wish is a coin in a well - just waiting for some enterprising gent to come steal it, and that sometimes, the stories about the things we did with our friends are more important than the things we did themselves.

Sword Art Online taught me to accept people for who they are, than who I want them to be - and that the people in charge of an organisation aren't always weirdos on psycho power trips...but 90% of them need watching.

One Piece taught me that family and friends are very important words, that bravery in the face of certain defeat is a greater virtue than smugness in the face of certain victory, and that flexibility is a great strength in and of itself.

The Sopranos taught me that Russians are terrifying, and almost invincible.

Pacific Rim taught me that walls mean nothing when held against the virtues of giant robots.

There's more. I'll revisit this.