I would like to tell you about a game.
It is a game that is a welcome and original addition to an already popular worldwide franchise. A game eagerly awaited by many up util the very day of release, produced and brought to fruition by a legendary developer.
It is a game whose new features add to an already classical genre, a game that heralds its forebears as much as it breaks new ground, a game that is a victory on a conceptual level as well as simply being fun.
The graphical advances between this incarnation of the franchise and the last are astounding to look upon. Likewise, the sound engineering and score are peerless. Attention has been paid to every aspect of the game, in order to bring the best possible experience to the player.
In this game, the levels are superbly designed, sumptuous to view and fun to explore, with many hidden treats for the observant player. The performance is superb, and the characterisation of enemies and allies alike is perfectly matched to the setting - which in itself is rendered supremely well.
Also - the fish swim away from you.
If you thought I was talking about the latest Call of Duty, then I'm sorry, but you're very, very misguided. Because I am clearly singing the praises of Mario 64.
And for fuck's sake, AAA games industry, stop making such shitty shooters that all play and look the same.
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Thursday, 17 October 2013
An Unintended Absence
Sooooo I've been pretty quiet here.
I'm sorry. I suck.
Regularly sceduled (by which I mean irregular unscheduled but MORE regular) poting will begin again soon.
I'm sorry. I suck.
Regularly sceduled (by which I mean irregular unscheduled but MORE regular) poting will begin again soon.
Monday, 9 September 2013
Syria, Suspicion & Snooping
For two years, people have died in Syria's civil war.
Note that this isn't the only area of the world in which people are being killed in military quantities. A moment's research reveals 11 ongoing military conflicts that yield over a thousand deaths a year, but they aren't really the topic of the news right now, which is a critique I will save for another time.
No, this conflict is the one I will pick at if only for the sheer duplicity shown by "The West" in how it is handling the situation.
Over 40,000 people died as a direct result of the Syrian civil war in 2012. Those may be slightly generous figures, as they are maintained by the Revolutionary Martyr's Database, statistics retained by the National Council. But then no counter-information has been put out by Assad's government, either.
Did we really care, back then? No, not really. And when I say We, I mean the people making decisions about "limited in scope" and "limited in duration" operations with "no boots on the ground" - a description, I will point out, that applied to Pearl Harbour. (I daresay the Pentagon spokesman responsible for the statement, George Little, might be uncomfortable at the comparison.)
All of a sudden, we care because of the use of chemical weapons.
Don't get me wrong. The use of chemical weapons in warfare is something that deeply upsets and unsettles me, something that wrankles me in a fairly intrinsic way. They are horrifying things - in an age where one can push a button and eliminate a single floor of a building from two hundred miles away, and leave the rest of it mostly standing, no such thing should ever have a reason for being deployed.
The thing is that the deaths caused by the chemical weapon attack in question - anywhere between 300 and 1,000, according to rebel sources - is a drop in the ocean compared to how many people have been killed by being shot, being bombed, and any other comparable means of ending a life. 30,000 this year alone. If we assume that the 1,000 figure is accurate - are we really saying that the other 29,000 don't matter, because they died via the standard methods of bullet or explosion?
Just imagine lining up thirty people. Shoot 29 of them, while the police look on and murmur things about it not being good and how it should stop but not doing anything at all - then make the last one inhale Sarin, and only then, ONLY then, do the police actually decide to do anything about it.
Something more is going on here. There's a higher priority drive than the will of the people - which is overwhelmingly against current action in Syria. And it isn't related to the deaths of the innocent, either.
Meanwhile, the US and the UK declare their own civil war against their own people. Bull Run is the name of two battles in the American civil war in Virginia - one of them being the very first battle in that war - and an operation code name used in Iraq. Edgehill was a battle in the English civil war, a battle that happened outside of Warwickshire. Total casualties: approximately 17,000, in the civil wars at least.
Admittedly these new implementations of Bull Run and Edgehill aren't so much deaths via bullet or explosion. They're more insidious than that. All I'm saying is, be careful what you say in emails - if you don't want people in power to be reading it, then either encrypt it well, or don't email it at all. And certainly don't send it over the phone, either. Yes, they have you there too.
What point am I trying to make here?
Well...none, really. Just that, right now, neither the US or the UK government seems to be representing the will of its people. And that's not even getting into the economic suicide of George Osborne's austerity measures and Iain Duncan Smith's war on people poorer than him.
Perhaps it is time we started enforcing our will on our governments through every channel we can, rather than trotting out to elections and then sitting at home and complaining. And when I say We, I mean the country as a whole; because we may not have voted for the people making the shit sandwiches, but almost all of us are going to have to take a bite.
Note that this isn't the only area of the world in which people are being killed in military quantities. A moment's research reveals 11 ongoing military conflicts that yield over a thousand deaths a year, but they aren't really the topic of the news right now, which is a critique I will save for another time.
No, this conflict is the one I will pick at if only for the sheer duplicity shown by "The West" in how it is handling the situation.
Over 40,000 people died as a direct result of the Syrian civil war in 2012. Those may be slightly generous figures, as they are maintained by the Revolutionary Martyr's Database, statistics retained by the National Council. But then no counter-information has been put out by Assad's government, either.
Did we really care, back then? No, not really. And when I say We, I mean the people making decisions about "limited in scope" and "limited in duration" operations with "no boots on the ground" - a description, I will point out, that applied to Pearl Harbour. (I daresay the Pentagon spokesman responsible for the statement, George Little, might be uncomfortable at the comparison.)
All of a sudden, we care because of the use of chemical weapons.
Don't get me wrong. The use of chemical weapons in warfare is something that deeply upsets and unsettles me, something that wrankles me in a fairly intrinsic way. They are horrifying things - in an age where one can push a button and eliminate a single floor of a building from two hundred miles away, and leave the rest of it mostly standing, no such thing should ever have a reason for being deployed.
The thing is that the deaths caused by the chemical weapon attack in question - anywhere between 300 and 1,000, according to rebel sources - is a drop in the ocean compared to how many people have been killed by being shot, being bombed, and any other comparable means of ending a life. 30,000 this year alone. If we assume that the 1,000 figure is accurate - are we really saying that the other 29,000 don't matter, because they died via the standard methods of bullet or explosion?
Just imagine lining up thirty people. Shoot 29 of them, while the police look on and murmur things about it not being good and how it should stop but not doing anything at all - then make the last one inhale Sarin, and only then, ONLY then, do the police actually decide to do anything about it.
Something more is going on here. There's a higher priority drive than the will of the people - which is overwhelmingly against current action in Syria. And it isn't related to the deaths of the innocent, either.
Meanwhile, the US and the UK declare their own civil war against their own people. Bull Run is the name of two battles in the American civil war in Virginia - one of them being the very first battle in that war - and an operation code name used in Iraq. Edgehill was a battle in the English civil war, a battle that happened outside of Warwickshire. Total casualties: approximately 17,000, in the civil wars at least.
Admittedly these new implementations of Bull Run and Edgehill aren't so much deaths via bullet or explosion. They're more insidious than that. All I'm saying is, be careful what you say in emails - if you don't want people in power to be reading it, then either encrypt it well, or don't email it at all. And certainly don't send it over the phone, either. Yes, they have you there too.
What point am I trying to make here?
Well...none, really. Just that, right now, neither the US or the UK government seems to be representing the will of its people. And that's not even getting into the economic suicide of George Osborne's austerity measures and Iain Duncan Smith's war on people poorer than him.
Perhaps it is time we started enforcing our will on our governments through every channel we can, rather than trotting out to elections and then sitting at home and complaining. And when I say We, I mean the country as a whole; because we may not have voted for the people making the shit sandwiches, but almost all of us are going to have to take a bite.
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
Roll To Save vs Council Tax
Roll for Initiative.
I'm currently playing two tabletop RPG campaigns, and gaming has been part of my life for, basically, over half of it. Most who know me will agree that I'm an avid gamer.
It was while discussing character generation, however, that I came across a revelation. Recently I've talked a lot about lessons that I've learned from various places, and it occured to me that a lot of the advice I was giving people - and the epithets I often use when talking character and game - can be applied to real-life scenarios as easily as they can to a game of Loungerooms & Lizards*.
Note: The game I am referring to in this case is Pathfinder, which is basically D&D. Other systems have other lessons to learn, of course. Pathfinder is just what I am playing the mot of right now, and is the system that provoked the thoughts that led to this whole ramble in the first place.
*Basements & Basilisks. Warehouses & Wyverns. Kitchens & Komodos. Gardens & Geckos. Studios & Salamanders. This is fun.
Just some thoughts.
I'm currently playing two tabletop RPG campaigns, and gaming has been part of my life for, basically, over half of it. Most who know me will agree that I'm an avid gamer.
It was while discussing character generation, however, that I came across a revelation. Recently I've talked a lot about lessons that I've learned from various places, and it occured to me that a lot of the advice I was giving people - and the epithets I often use when talking character and game - can be applied to real-life scenarios as easily as they can to a game of Loungerooms & Lizards*.
Note: The game I am referring to in this case is Pathfinder, which is basically D&D. Other systems have other lessons to learn, of course. Pathfinder is just what I am playing the mot of right now, and is the system that provoked the thoughts that led to this whole ramble in the first place.
*Basements & Basilisks. Warehouses & Wyverns. Kitchens & Komodos. Gardens & Geckos. Studios & Salamanders. This is fun.
1) Use Your Stats. You are stuck with your ability rolls - but they don't dictate the rest of you. Work with what you have, recognise your strengths and minimise your weaknesses. Low Dexterity implies that deciding to become a lead in a royal ballet corps is perhaps a bad choice, though a consequent high Charisma means that a career in performance is certainly not out of the question. This, however, ties into...
2) Remember Advancement. It's not just a case of having the potential to get better - it's almost a certainty. It may seem difficult to achieve a given goal, but as long as you are realistic - not fatalistic, not optimistic, but realistic - what can be achieved might surprise you. Have your goals in mind with every step you take, and always have something to strive for.
3) Career Is Not Class. When someone asks: "What do you do?" They are often meaning your career. But often, what people "do" is not their job. Their job is what allows the to do what they "do". Remember: in Pathfinder, profession is a skill that anyone can take, regardless of Class. If you want to be defined by how you earn your pay, that is different - that is when a career and a Class are the same thing.
4) Class Is Not Character. While stereotypes exist of what certain Classes act and think like, they are not binding. Nor is life. How one should act in certain situations - while guided by social convention - is up to the individual. Not your job, nor your interests, should tell you who you should be. Influence? Certainly - a Cleric is almost certain to demonstrate certain religious traits, a Fighter is almost certain to be somewhat more martial. However, they are not the be-all and end-all by any means.
5) Pick Your Battles. A Level 2 Fighter cannot solo a dragon of any description; nor can a Level 16 Fighter call any number of goblins a challenge. That said. A Level 2 Fighter might WANT to solo a dragon, for the sheer amount of loot that will come of it - while the Level 16 will get next to nothing for the horde dead at his feet. The balance is to take on a challenge that can be overcome but is also worth the fight. This can apply to both combat and other challenges.
6) The Journey Trumps The Destination. If everything up until the end objective is a drag, and only the final pay-off is a worthy experience, then this game won't be much fun for you. You need to make your journey as fulfilling as you can - because you never know, that last confrontation might not be one you win. Make the journey one that makes the falling worthwhile, and then you need never fear losing.
Just some thoughts.
Saturday, 3 August 2013
A Nerdfighter's Epiphany
So I am a Nerdfighter. Not a very active one, but one nonetheless, as an ardent fan of both Hank and John Green and their works. I believe in what they do, I believe they have the right idea, and I think the more people get on board, the better.
But I'm not here to talk to you about being a Nerdfighter. ("Do you accept the Greens as your lords and saviours?" I can think of few worse candidates for door-to-door religion than me.) I'm not even here to talk about both of them - sorry, Hank. Nor am I here to talk about John Green as a person: I'm here to talk to you about John Green's writing.
His books are listed as Young Adult, which I think is good, because if I had learned the lessons his books have taught me when I was a Young Adult, then I might have ended up being a better person.
Only one of the man's books have lasted me more than two days, and that one is co-authored - that isn't the reason why, though. David Levithan's contribution to Will Grayson, Will Grayson was hugely affecting in its own way. It was a harder read, because it dealt with several things that I have quite intimate experience of - but then, so do the rest of the books. Just not in the same direct way.
The man is just so good at people. How we're all different, and weird, and how we're also very much the same. How when it comes down to it, we don't need to have a lot in common just to get along with one another. How, sometimes, we're our own worst enemies - and sometimes we don't have enemies. Sometimes things just happen and we are left to try and make sense of them.
Almost everyone will deal with terminal or serious illness in their lives - either affecting them or someone close to them. So at first, The Fault In Our Stars seems to trivialise something so very important; but this impression doen't last long, because that's the point. It take away the immediate thoughtless solemnity and replaces it with actual applied understanding of what it means to be a grenade, primed to hurt those you love the most - or how hard it is to convince the grenade that you can bear the shrapnel, for their sake.
Almost everyone will also be affected by a simple feeling of not mattering - of wanting to matter, and finding that we don't, to our own specifications. Of wanting to set our own terms, of setting a bar that we have to cross to be in the realm of People Who Matter, and then doing just that. We all know life doesn't work that way - but An Abundance Of Katherines teaches us why, and then teaches us that it's okay, because that isn't what mattering means anyway.
And this is why I think, if one wants to be a better person, and understand persons better - that they should pick up at least one (or preferably more) John Green book. You may end up with tears of some form or another staining the pages. It will be worth it. If you aren't touched, moved, or galvanised into some form of feeling or understanding - hell, just give it to someone else...
(I'm not telling you why Will Grayson, Will Grayson hits close to home, by the way. One part of it should be obvious from the blurb, another is a big plot twist that I won't reveal.)
So go and read this man's work. If you do nothing else - at least give it a shot.
But I'm not here to talk to you about being a Nerdfighter. ("Do you accept the Greens as your lords and saviours?" I can think of few worse candidates for door-to-door religion than me.) I'm not even here to talk about both of them - sorry, Hank. Nor am I here to talk about John Green as a person: I'm here to talk to you about John Green's writing.
His books are listed as Young Adult, which I think is good, because if I had learned the lessons his books have taught me when I was a Young Adult, then I might have ended up being a better person.
Only one of the man's books have lasted me more than two days, and that one is co-authored - that isn't the reason why, though. David Levithan's contribution to Will Grayson, Will Grayson was hugely affecting in its own way. It was a harder read, because it dealt with several things that I have quite intimate experience of - but then, so do the rest of the books. Just not in the same direct way.
The man is just so good at people. How we're all different, and weird, and how we're also very much the same. How when it comes down to it, we don't need to have a lot in common just to get along with one another. How, sometimes, we're our own worst enemies - and sometimes we don't have enemies. Sometimes things just happen and we are left to try and make sense of them.
Almost everyone will deal with terminal or serious illness in their lives - either affecting them or someone close to them. So at first, The Fault In Our Stars seems to trivialise something so very important; but this impression doen't last long, because that's the point. It take away the immediate thoughtless solemnity and replaces it with actual applied understanding of what it means to be a grenade, primed to hurt those you love the most - or how hard it is to convince the grenade that you can bear the shrapnel, for their sake.
Almost everyone will also be affected by a simple feeling of not mattering - of wanting to matter, and finding that we don't, to our own specifications. Of wanting to set our own terms, of setting a bar that we have to cross to be in the realm of People Who Matter, and then doing just that. We all know life doesn't work that way - but An Abundance Of Katherines teaches us why, and then teaches us that it's okay, because that isn't what mattering means anyway.
And this is why I think, if one wants to be a better person, and understand persons better - that they should pick up at least one (or preferably more) John Green book. You may end up with tears of some form or another staining the pages. It will be worth it. If you aren't touched, moved, or galvanised into some form of feeling or understanding - hell, just give it to someone else...
(I'm not telling you why Will Grayson, Will Grayson hits close to home, by the way. One part of it should be obvious from the blurb, another is a big plot twist that I won't reveal.)
So go and read this man's work. If you do nothing else - at least give it a shot.
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Lessons Learned, Song-Sheets Burned
I'll open this blog with a quote from Stephen Colbert:
Thus, I have compiled a list of things that have taught me lessons, and the lessons those things taught me. In no particular order.
Pirates of the Carribean taught me that as bad a reputation as piracy may have, it is superior to its alternatives - old white money (the most dangerous gang, as SAMCRO taught me) and the dark powers of elder gods (not that different from old white money).
Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me that the popular chicks may save the world, but not without the help of geeks, nerds, misfits and the kind of guy that remembers what THAC0 means.
Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann taught me that belief in one's self - not cockiness, not blind ego, not arrogance but simple self-belief - can propel someone from mediocrity to total greatness, and that some people burn brighter than reality can deal with - clear through the heavens, and into our hearts.
Skyrim taught me that doing something often is the best way to become better at it, most problems can be solved by shouting at them loudly enough that they simply go away, and if the choice is between racists and imperialists - you don't have to choose either side.
Aliens taught me that corporations are the most lethal predator of all, even if they don't literally explode out of your chest, and that any woman gutsy enough to duct-tape a flamethrower to a carbine isn't someone to trifle with.
The Goonies taught me that a wish is a coin in a well - just waiting for some enterprising gent to come steal it, and that sometimes, the stories about the things we did with our friends are more important than the things we did themselves.
Sword Art Online taught me to accept people for who they are, than who I want them to be - and that the people in charge of an organisation aren't always weirdos on psycho power trips...but 90% of them need watching.
One Piece taught me that family and friends are very important words, that bravery in the face of certain defeat is a greater virtue than smugness in the face of certain victory, and that flexibility is a great strength in and of itself.
The Sopranos taught me that Russians are terrifying, and almost invincible.
Pacific Rim taught me that walls mean nothing when held against the virtues of giant robots.
There's more. I'll revisit this.
“So, Disney, I demand that you drop this two mommies plot & go back to delivering wholesome messages. Like teaching our children that they can be a princess if they let a man make out with them while drugged, or that there's nothing wrong with bestiality if a candle says it’s OK.”
Thus, I have compiled a list of things that have taught me lessons, and the lessons those things taught me. In no particular order.
Pirates of the Carribean taught me that as bad a reputation as piracy may have, it is superior to its alternatives - old white money (the most dangerous gang, as SAMCRO taught me) and the dark powers of elder gods (not that different from old white money).
Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me that the popular chicks may save the world, but not without the help of geeks, nerds, misfits and the kind of guy that remembers what THAC0 means.
Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann taught me that belief in one's self - not cockiness, not blind ego, not arrogance but simple self-belief - can propel someone from mediocrity to total greatness, and that some people burn brighter than reality can deal with - clear through the heavens, and into our hearts.
Skyrim taught me that doing something often is the best way to become better at it, most problems can be solved by shouting at them loudly enough that they simply go away, and if the choice is between racists and imperialists - you don't have to choose either side.
Aliens taught me that corporations are the most lethal predator of all, even if they don't literally explode out of your chest, and that any woman gutsy enough to duct-tape a flamethrower to a carbine isn't someone to trifle with.
The Goonies taught me that a wish is a coin in a well - just waiting for some enterprising gent to come steal it, and that sometimes, the stories about the things we did with our friends are more important than the things we did themselves.
Sword Art Online taught me to accept people for who they are, than who I want them to be - and that the people in charge of an organisation aren't always weirdos on psycho power trips...but 90% of them need watching.
One Piece taught me that family and friends are very important words, that bravery in the face of certain defeat is a greater virtue than smugness in the face of certain victory, and that flexibility is a great strength in and of itself.
The Sopranos taught me that Russians are terrifying, and almost invincible.
Pacific Rim taught me that walls mean nothing when held against the virtues of giant robots.
There's more. I'll revisit this.
Thursday, 27 June 2013
Dungeons, Dragons, Bunkers & Badasses
So recently my housemate Tom has acquired - and damn near completed - the Borderlands 2 DLC, Tiny Tina's Assault On Dragon Keep. If anyone saw the hilarious trailer, they'd realise it was a DLC area set up to mimic (and lightly mock) tabletop RPG gaming, as well as various other RPGs and aspects of nerdistry.
This gets a little bit meta. While the main characters of Borderlands 2 are roughing up an enemy agent, the main characters of the FIRST Borderlands engage in a pen-and-paper roleplaying game wherein they play...the main characters of Borderlands 2, in a quest to rescue a queen, defeat a (handsome) wizard, and save the day.
Along the way, there's some cheap laughs (and some quite subtle ones) at various and sundry staples of RPGs, the fantasy and scifi genres, at popular games such a Dark Souls and WoW - and less obvious targets such as Disney's "The Black Hole".
However, it does several things really well.
It's the most emotionally engaging of all the DLCs, ironically. I won't go into why - but it deals with loss and acceptance. It also directly addresses a trait that both the video gaming and role-playing communities display: exclusionism, and its partner-in-crime, geek becoming cool.
To address the second - we get to witness both sides; the "jock" discovering his geeky side (and being disparaged by "true" nerds such as, weirdly enough, Lilith the Siren) and the hardcore geek who's always been there (who feels her territory is encroached upon by the same type of individual that used to beat her up in school). And we probably take just a moment to realise: hey, that's pretty well-observed.
Most people playing the game will be one or the other. Most will be familiar with one of these two points of view. To be reminded that the other side is just trying to get along with something they enjoy is, perhaps, something we need. Even if geek is cool it still takes a big step to go from being outside of that circle to inside - just to be met with a hipster-like dismissal through some percieved lack of authenticity. Don't feel threatened when people like something you do. Celebrate that other people can potentially see the same wonders you saw, and you can share in it. Humans are at their best when collaborating.
The first? ...you'll have to play it to find out.
Suffice to say I was impressed.
This gets a little bit meta. While the main characters of Borderlands 2 are roughing up an enemy agent, the main characters of the FIRST Borderlands engage in a pen-and-paper roleplaying game wherein they play...the main characters of Borderlands 2, in a quest to rescue a queen, defeat a (handsome) wizard, and save the day.
Along the way, there's some cheap laughs (and some quite subtle ones) at various and sundry staples of RPGs, the fantasy and scifi genres, at popular games such a Dark Souls and WoW - and less obvious targets such as Disney's "The Black Hole".
However, it does several things really well.
It's the most emotionally engaging of all the DLCs, ironically. I won't go into why - but it deals with loss and acceptance. It also directly addresses a trait that both the video gaming and role-playing communities display: exclusionism, and its partner-in-crime, geek becoming cool.
To address the second - we get to witness both sides; the "jock" discovering his geeky side (and being disparaged by "true" nerds such as, weirdly enough, Lilith the Siren) and the hardcore geek who's always been there (who feels her territory is encroached upon by the same type of individual that used to beat her up in school). And we probably take just a moment to realise: hey, that's pretty well-observed.
Most people playing the game will be one or the other. Most will be familiar with one of these two points of view. To be reminded that the other side is just trying to get along with something they enjoy is, perhaps, something we need. Even if geek is cool it still takes a big step to go from being outside of that circle to inside - just to be met with a hipster-like dismissal through some percieved lack of authenticity. Don't feel threatened when people like something you do. Celebrate that other people can potentially see the same wonders you saw, and you can share in it. Humans are at their best when collaborating.
The first? ...you'll have to play it to find out.
Suffice to say I was impressed.
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